Friday, 25 July 2014
Frustrations...
I'm exploring fellowship, scholarship, and grant options for grad school, and it's very frustrating that so many have the word "young" in them as a qualifier... (generally means under 30, and sometimes under 25)....
Words of encouragement
I was told by a well-meaning grad student last night that I have enough in the pipeline now, as an undergraduate entering my 4th year, for a "shitty-to-average" Ph.D. project/thesis". :-|
He really was well-meaning.... What he meant was, I already have enough project ideas and areas I want to explore to carry me through a Ph.D., so presumably by the time I finish my undergraduate degree, and I am 1 year into my master's, I'll be in a much better position to design a more comprehensive and thorough set of Ph.D. projects. In essence, he was trying to tell me that I'm ahead of most of my peers right now.
Despite his odd way of expressing encouragement, he was very helpful in explaining the options for completing a Ph.D., and in particular, fast-tracking. What he really meant was, for an undergraduate entering her 4th year, I was well ahead of the game.
The problem is, I don't know what I don't know - despite all my reading, there are likely many techniques and protocols that I'm not aware of that could further my research goals, and what we have at Carleton is decidedly limited. Some of the lab techniques for exploring sub-cellular mechanisms that I know about now, and I'd like to do, aren't an option here...
He really was well-meaning.... What he meant was, I already have enough project ideas and areas I want to explore to carry me through a Ph.D., so presumably by the time I finish my undergraduate degree, and I am 1 year into my master's, I'll be in a much better position to design a more comprehensive and thorough set of Ph.D. projects. In essence, he was trying to tell me that I'm ahead of most of my peers right now.
Despite his odd way of expressing encouragement, he was very helpful in explaining the options for completing a Ph.D., and in particular, fast-tracking. What he really meant was, for an undergraduate entering her 4th year, I was well ahead of the game.
The problem is, I don't know what I don't know - despite all my reading, there are likely many techniques and protocols that I'm not aware of that could further my research goals, and what we have at Carleton is decidedly limited. Some of the lab techniques for exploring sub-cellular mechanisms that I know about now, and I'd like to do, aren't an option here...
Sunday, 13 July 2014
"We child-proofed the house 3 years ago... but they keep getting back in..."
This spring, my oldest graduated from an honours program in geology. It took him a few years, off and on, and a couple of false-starts, to finally settle on an education and career path that sparked his interest. He completed the last 3 years of his schooling while living with me and my partner during the school year. For the last 2 years we have attended the same university. Sometimes he'd even acknowledge that he knew me. :-) At one point, I told him that if he didn't get his ass in gear, I'd graduate before him (which I think mildly panicked him, considering I'm only 1 year behind). Last year, we were both on the Dean of Science's honours list. I think that's pretty cool: mom and son both make the Dean's List... He also landed an unexpected job working for one of his professors, "Hey! I got a job today."
"Really? I didn't know you had applied to anything."
"I didn't. A professor saw my presentation and sent me an email offering me part-time work."
He lived here rent free, but paid his dues by cooking many meals, and he is an EXCELLENT/gourmet chef.
In fact, I jokingly asked if he would consider doing a master's degree just so we could continue to partake of his wonderful meals while I finished school (my sweetie thinks breakfast cereal or kraft dinner is an acceptable substitute for dinner when I'm not home). But alas, despite the fact that he is one of the few students on the planet who graduated with money in the bank (thank-you Canadian-Rite-of-Passage, aka Tree Planting), my son had other plans, like a life, and an a job that earns a decent income, and living in Canada's mecca: Vancouver. And his girlfriend wanted to further HER career as well.
And then, two nights ago, after midnight, I get a text message from him, "you awake?". I called him and found out that he received an email from his former professor, offering him a fully funded master's position.
Like the job, he didn't apply for this. The professor was just so impressed with him, he wanted to offer it to my son. Now he has a tough decision to make. The exploration market for gold is in the toilet due to the low prices for gold, so his friends in the industry are telling him it's a great time to do a masters, PLUS the project would give him valuable skills in other exploration markets. He's still trying to sort things out, because his girlfriend had planned to go back to school and do a law degree at UBC. Him coming back to Ontario to do a master's degree would throw a real kink in those plans. Life is loaded with difficult decisions and compromises and I don't envy them theirs.
Of course, he's welcome back here if he chooses to do his master's, and I won't charge either rent if they are both on the school track. Help out with food and do some cooking and cleaning, and I'm a happy camper. He's just damned lucky I didn't rent out his room... (I was THIS close....)
"Really? I didn't know you had applied to anything."
"I didn't. A professor saw my presentation and sent me an email offering me part-time work."
He lived here rent free, but paid his dues by cooking many meals, and he is an EXCELLENT/gourmet chef.
In fact, I jokingly asked if he would consider doing a master's degree just so we could continue to partake of his wonderful meals while I finished school (my sweetie thinks breakfast cereal or kraft dinner is an acceptable substitute for dinner when I'm not home). But alas, despite the fact that he is one of the few students on the planet who graduated with money in the bank (thank-you Canadian-Rite-of-Passage, aka Tree Planting), my son had other plans, like a life, and an a job that earns a decent income, and living in Canada's mecca: Vancouver. And his girlfriend wanted to further HER career as well.
And then, two nights ago, after midnight, I get a text message from him, "you awake?". I called him and found out that he received an email from his former professor, offering him a fully funded master's position.
Like the job, he didn't apply for this. The professor was just so impressed with him, he wanted to offer it to my son. Now he has a tough decision to make. The exploration market for gold is in the toilet due to the low prices for gold, so his friends in the industry are telling him it's a great time to do a masters, PLUS the project would give him valuable skills in other exploration markets. He's still trying to sort things out, because his girlfriend had planned to go back to school and do a law degree at UBC. Him coming back to Ontario to do a master's degree would throw a real kink in those plans. Life is loaded with difficult decisions and compromises and I don't envy them theirs.
Of course, he's welcome back here if he chooses to do his master's, and I won't charge either rent if they are both on the school track. Help out with food and do some cooking and cleaning, and I'm a happy camper. He's just damned lucky I didn't rent out his room... (I was THIS close....)
There goes the summer...
I had a bit of a break during May and June - just volunteer lab work and plus training and finishing up some EEGLab programming, but now that July is here, I can feel the summer slipping away from me.
In July, I started 2 half-summer courses (which means they are crammed into two months) with 3 evening classes that run 6:30-9:30pm (physics) and two 3-hour daytime classes on two of those days (genetics). The physics is the 2nd half of 1st year physics (Electrical fields and forces), and it's been a slow start because it's been 2 years since I took the first half of the course. I've forgotten a bunch of basics, like the formula for gravitational force between two objects and vector math... It's all coming back, but SLOWLY. And of course, I HAVE to do every one of the prof's examples myself to make sure I understand, and of course SOME do NOT give me the same answers he got. I hate that. Then I don't know if it's my lack of understanding of a concept, or his bad math (It's his bad math, btw). And so, it's been slow going...
I managed to get out to the cottage a couple of times in May and June, and I caught some very nice fish (including a lovely 4.4lb Large Mouth Bass that I returned to the river for someone else to catch), so I feel like I got a bit of relaxation in. But I haven't been up there for 2 weeks now, and today I woke up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep. All I could think about was the fact that I have a physics assignment and a physics lab to complete before Wednesday, and I have a genetics midterm on Thursday, after which I have to complete the online pre-lab quiz for the physics lab that night. Oh, and minor surgery on Wednesday morning to remove a cyst on my neck that is threatening to become a second head...
In July, I started 2 half-summer courses (which means they are crammed into two months) with 3 evening classes that run 6:30-9:30pm (physics) and two 3-hour daytime classes on two of those days (genetics). The physics is the 2nd half of 1st year physics (Electrical fields and forces), and it's been a slow start because it's been 2 years since I took the first half of the course. I've forgotten a bunch of basics, like the formula for gravitational force between two objects and vector math... It's all coming back, but SLOWLY. And of course, I HAVE to do every one of the prof's examples myself to make sure I understand, and of course SOME do NOT give me the same answers he got. I hate that. Then I don't know if it's my lack of understanding of a concept, or his bad math (It's his bad math, btw). And so, it's been slow going...
I managed to get out to the cottage a couple of times in May and June, and I caught some very nice fish (including a lovely 4.4lb Large Mouth Bass that I returned to the river for someone else to catch), so I feel like I got a bit of relaxation in. But I haven't been up there for 2 weeks now, and today I woke up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep. All I could think about was the fact that I have a physics assignment and a physics lab to complete before Wednesday, and I have a genetics midterm on Thursday, after which I have to complete the online pre-lab quiz for the physics lab that night. Oh, and minor surgery on Wednesday morning to remove a cyst on my neck that is threatening to become a second head...
Ok, it's not quite THAT bad, but still... it feels like that. (but then, I also felt like an alien was going to chew its way out of my stomach when I was pregnant, so I may be a bit over-dramatic when it comes to things like this).
In addition, I've foolishly scheduled to redo my animal handling training Wednesday afternoon, PLUS sit with a grad student to learn how to score the Forced Swim Test via videos she has taken. And then I have physics.
And somewhere in the next couple of months, I have to time to read a ton of papers that I have bookmarked and identified as relevant to my project. In fact, there was a new study just published on the role of astrocytes in synapse formation that I think may be relevant, and I'm trying to determine if I can leverage those results. One of my greatest strengths is synthesizing information from disparate sources. But it takes time to read, and assimilate and follow the information trail... and then the threads need time (and space) to settle into ideas. Right now my brain is crammed with course learning, and while it is foundational, I don't find it conducive to creative thought.
I just keep reminding myself that all of this is in order to be able to graduate in spring of 2015 so that I can start graduate school next fall and start the REALLY interesting stuff. And in the end, I have to say, as much as I loathe the testing, I still love the learning. Even physics. :-)
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